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Seeking Light

by Bakeluco

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1.
Lost 03:31
The screen is filled with static. I'm lost in a dreamland. Will I fade away when I close my eyes for the last time? Seeing blindly feeling shame for what once was, dispel the wisp. Disappearing from this plane of reality, linger near it, choosing my dreams. Words just drip of my mouth a senseless strain of talk. I fade away into ether the wind takes my form. Lost in a clouded world, while sorrow hunts me. Dissemination of light breaks into my dreams. Carry my decency further apart from me. Decomposition tears apart all of the seams. Dark clouds surround my thoughts. My eyes remain forever closed. Hot air and metal rust. Filled with fire my chest blows up. Words just drip of my mouth, a senseless strain of talk. I stare upon the endless dark, a black sea of dust. A crescent shadow of dark. My body shakes and trembles. I stare into your eyes. Witness the sky set on fire, it's flames consume my desires. Transparent soul drifts apart into the endless expanse. Intoxicated by its peril. Sink into the lowest depths. World unformed, coalesced in shadows. Senses lost in comfort.
2.
Sleep 03:47
A flicker in the corner of my eye just comes inside my mind bearing a delicious gift, the succor of a bright light. I'm stuck in a null state. I am devoid of change. Black pearl glittering in darkness. I've become the static of nothingness. Blind terror pierced right through my brain. I can see a hundred dead eyes stabbing me on the inside, bathed in a cold light. I'm bleeding shadows like a drop of ink underwater. My eyes are turning black, much more of this endless slaughter. If angel's could just cry, the light would shine even closer. Weak and sleeping child, just a half-forgotten nightmare. In that last instant of consciousness I try to make it through the darkness, Impossible horrors lurked behind, something malicious and malign.
3.
Deep in the fathomless depths of my eyes, you will be able to find a small ember. Just a cinder clinging dear to life, protected by the soft embrace of light. I walk along on a straight path. Landscape painted in hues of black & white. I keep falling down hitting cold grey stone. While dying out, frozen and alone. I'm kept wondering why... Which hurt the most either the push or the fall? Sometimes it turns into a eternal spiral, which can go on and on for hours and hours. Gradually I start to forget who I am and where I've been. I keep losing my dreams. I wake up a blank slate, no name, no earnest sake. Unending loop.
4.
I wake up to spit up blood just to be hollowed out. Maybe it's from the screams which I hold deep, beloved. My hands feel everything that I touch as burned out. Each hold dirt on its own even though they're washed out. I've been loved, I've been stored, I've been crushed, I've been gone. Maybe I should forget I was hold and adored. So that I don't recall going deep in, below. Just forget, go away, overlook and ignore. Spirit of the deep, sorrowful lament. Drowned in deep fear, weary, heavy head. Siren of my dreams, sorrowful regret. I behold with sense I do not possess. Half of a broken bloody heart entwined hanging restless from a bone. Droplets of red ichor fall below staining the earth dyeing the stone. Eventually I was drawn into a cold and lonely painted world where I stood in darkness for a thousand years all alone.
5.
The Limit 03:47
I try to reconstruct on my mind the image reflected on the glass. But, I can only glimpse the dark, and in it's center a white ring of light. Like a gravitational singularity, pulling me into oblivion, letting me forgo my thoughts and my sense of self discovery. Suddenly I see myself just standing in engulfed by a sea of black, where nothing but silence reigns and light tends to fade away. Strangely struck by a white light, this doppelganger opens his eyes. A pair of catatonic black hematites, Materialize. I've reached the limits of my imagination. There's nothing more for me, but perpetual stagnation. I've lost all passion and delicate affection. There's nothing more I care about, ceaseless depression. There are traces of colored lights which start to shoot from my sides. Each travel to my dark counterpart tracing an oscilloscope line through space and time. They perforate my double and black blood starts to pour. My twin ignites into effervescent flames. A bright blaze which shakes and shakes away. Like fireworks in the darkness of night a dazzling glimpse of a wonderful blue sight. He opens his mouth to let out a scream but only a tiny flame comes from it. It's the fire it's burning inside of him reaching out pulling my in. In this extended moment of time the horizon starts to light up. The flames take the shape of an eye, a dazzling moment, a wonderful sight.
6.
Solemn Night 03:38
Caught in a stasis. Standing still, feeling the wind brush upon my skin. Waves whisper an endless strain of thought. The slumbering breeze turns into a cold talk. I try to stay awake, but I barely grasp at the light. All my evil doings come flashing through the fright. Azure sky of the deepest dye, trembling light becomes a foreboding night. Cast myself through the light. You can see my inner sprite covered in a dark substance. Stuck in this lower realm, I can stare up at the feet of lesser men. A shadow guides my doubtful sight. Dripping a shape, crying for help, among the solemn night.
7.
Cold Water 03:21
A silent breeze of cold air runs along caressing my skin. I open my eyes to find myself floating along a stream. The water is freezing cold and black as eternal void. A cloud of dense fog blurs my sight and muffles voice. Moonlit rays travel through, into in the deep colours of my eyes. I make my way, I'm wading through. The gentle sound muffles my cries. Just far away on the shoreline black silhouettes contort, entwine. These shapes deform, howl and cry. My fear grows, I close my eyes. The winds bellows... I'm suddenly pulled down below surrounded by eternal blackness I suffocate, loose consciousness . I'm delving deep in darkness. Deep down below, far from the shore, a light shines through, pure whiteness. Drowning in pain, I hold my breath, I swim for it and wake up in water once again. Once again... I cut myself there is rusted barbed wire in the water. I bleed black blood the air feels heavier and heavier.
8.
Hard Reset 03:24
I need to wipe my mind a hard reset. Purge myself of this endless mistake. What could I do or possibly say, that hasn't been already said? It's getting harder and harder to forget. I wake up to feel the same. Cleanse myself of these sin and regret. I'm drowning in unending shame. Is there no forgiveness? Am I to despair? A broken record, drowned in tears. I listen to, the music of my fears. I keep crying out I keep the sound off. Loosing sleep, dreary-looking dreams. Night terrors, flood my screen. Shame and guilt, formless memories. I feel the pain of being forgotten Like I was never really there. Never really even there. Always gave love and passion and expected nothing in return. Now I'm bitter. Now my heart broke. I'm lonely and I'm cold. I only find solace in my loneliness. In the end karma never flows My life is pain after pain.

about

Wrapped in unformed blackness I'm left wandering in the dark... aimless... senseless... Here are the accounts of my trip through the dark. A journey of self-discovery. Forever seeking light.

This album describes depression, hopelessness and failure. It also talks about the unending cycle of sleep, light and darkness, fire and ash, life and death, dream and reality, coldness and warmth.

The Dark Souls' franchise lore heavily inspired me how to write this album. Copying the theme of disparity, of light and darkness, ambiguity. But, with my own spin to it.

The main idea came from how I'm never really awake but in my head floating, wrapped in my thoughts . I see, touch, taste and hear but nothing really ever feels real.

The cover is an unformed blue expanse of... not really anything... With an orange guiding point in its center. Orange and blue contrast each other. Orange signifies fire, warm, light, life. While blue means black, cold, darkness, uncertainty.

And as always the music is heavily influenced by the Silent Hill games featuring sounds from the games in each track.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT !! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

credits

released January 28, 2020

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Bakeluco Córdoba, Argentina

Solo musician based in Córdoba, Argentina. 🇦🇷

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